mY SeCreT CoNFesSiOnS. . .

Just hang up the phone with my dear Karen I haven’t
been seeing her nearly a year. Miss her heaps! Eight hours difference but I feel
she’s so near. Was talking to her for nearly two and the half hours. Wow!! My ears
were burning. hahaha…never realize we can yak that long. Hey babe thanks a lot for
your advice! Need those encouragement words now especially when im in an undecided
situation. Feel so relief after talking to you. Thanks for sharing your
experience with me. At least now I feel so much better and at least now I know
what are the preparation needs to be done.

But there’s nothing to write about. Actually there is
something, but its just nothing. Something is wrong. Maybe it is just not right
*crap* anyway will write down some crap before I going to sleep…feel like people
come, people go easily…be it family, partner, good friends, friends, sisters &
brothers. . .PPL COME…they make you smile, they make an impact, they shower you
with love and care, they teach you what fun is, they paint a rainbow in your
life, they share dreams and thoughts, they lend a helping hand, they see through
you flaws and faults, they listen, they open up your hearts, they give you
hope, they acknowledge your presence, they make your world seem beautiful, they
love you regardless of who and what you are…..then PPL GO…they left a scar in
you, they left behind bitter sweet memories, they thought you lesson, they left
for a better, they chose not to remember, they left you with unanswered
questions, they tell you that you are worthless, they do no appreciate, they
are ungrateful, they seek a new life, they cant forgive. . . .ppl come and goes
by easily. They come for reason and they leave for a reason…appreciate those
around, for they might just go within a blink of eye…

Woke up early, felt like shit..it was a total different
mood…im not sure whether something irked me while I was sleeping but feels like
shit now maybe I wanted to rest, but you were very persistent to wake me up
oh!! Damn…what a day…supposed to pop over to my friend’s house warming but
hell, my mood fucking me up…I just don’t wanna socialize with anyone so no
point going and showing how blackened my face is…as usual, isolating myself is
the best way when my mood swing hit me…maybe I do wanted someone to be here for
me, to console me…but I don’t think its such a good ideal neways probably you
wouldn’t be able to stand my depressing bad moodness at all and instead of
having one person in a bad mood, it will end up that you will be in a bad mood
as well, and that makes it two…I have always wondered why I get hit badly by
mood swings not that I wanna be in bad mood but *pops* its just there! It
will ruin my day, my plans and every other things..i wish I have someone to
cast a spell on me so that the horrendous mood swings wont ever attack me
again…haiz…there are too many things in life to thing about izzit true, as you
grow older, there are many more things that matter to you? I don’t know, I tend
to think to much..are you important to me anymore? Are you my true friend? I
don’t know, can I just pretend that everything is alright when I know its not?
Izzit a different you or me? Has my work lifestyle affected everything around
me? Too many questions and no answers to any of it… why is there in life that
you’re filled with questions? I don’t know again…..

Guess what? Supposed to go back home after work as i have a slight fever but i had promise my colleague buy our BBQ foods together after that we went to Ichiban sushi for our dinner coz szeyin is crazy on japanese food hahaha….reached home around 2200. Jackson ask me to have supper with them. long time no see them! Especially  Datuk Kelvin. hahaha…We  went to villa bali there is such a romantic place but not with the right person hahahaha….sorry buddies :p after that we went for second round at mos we drink and dance till i forgot how fever should feel. what a insane lady like me…hehe…reached home abit EARLY hahaha…and i was alone dont know how to express my feeling, after read something else from somewhere else, seem like recall back a lot of scene that happened before..happy..sad..excited..furious..sweet..down..hahaha emotional ger. . .*blek*

Im bored today…cough like hell…and suddenly a lot tot flying thru my brain…dont know, its a feeling…hm…feeling like looking at someone who is doing something im interested in, well..like looking at the person doing things, late into the night, i would satify with ut…well, hmm..dont know, guess im crazying bla…bal…why is exterior so important to me? well..interior attracted me too..but dont u think interior things is showing via exterior, so exterior is actually showing how’s the interior really is or are…im not a logical person…argh…im a dumb…dumb………Nitez! (",)<<<~~~

I have no mood to write blog…but nothing to do here, haizz dont know why everyone likes…These few days a lot of things trouble me, but i dont have time to make myself free to settle down everything. Too much things need to do, need to complete, dont know what should i start first. Thing keep on happened, i cant settle it one by one..TIRED!! anyone can help me?? Look out from the window, winds blow, and listening my favourite song, hope everything stop at this moment…A lot of decision need to make, for sure something i already decided, hope courage can make myself fulfill for what i want to do. Problem is need to be solve, things that not belongto me…it woudnt never belong to me, people that dont understand me, give forever time also wont understand me, things just happened, i will go through on it…i still prefer keep alone to cool down myself settle everything…todaywoke up at 9something…imposible…normally  i will sleep until 12something *piggy* so just turn on my pc and started chat with my buddies thru msn, after the conversation with them i totally agree with that haha…they keep asking me treasure, seem like i am never serious on my problem. Haha..i know la!!! i do responsibility in my every single choice ok!! Recently quite a lot of people asking me same question. nothing much to say just want to emphasize i dont wish to think too much…as long as happy..haiss girl like comlicated else…time passed so fast…kylie birthday again…whole gang went to disco (dont wish to mention which one) celebrate. First of all i want announce the disco really suck enough!! no nest time KYLIE. How to describe i also dont know… but anyway the celebrate consider as happy…its been long time never get drunk and of course yesterday also!!! Anyway, my coming week will be very busy because of month end.For account’s people month end we need to cheong to close the current month accounts! Headache!!!

what a bad day for me…

feeling bad, sad, stress, miserable………………. (T.T)

I got this message from zoe …and its very meaningful for me….

Take your time to read my secret confessions hehe…

##When then bus come, you look at it and you said to yourself  “er..so full…cannot sit down one”. So you said to yourself, I will wait for the next one. So you let the bus go and wait for the second bus.

##Then the second bus came, you looked at it and you said, “er…this bus so lousy…surely very uncomfortable one.” So you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.

##After awhile, another bus came, its not crowded and not lousy but you said,”er…no air-con one…and the weather is so warm, better wait for the next one” so again you let the bus go and decided to wait again…

Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late. You panicked and jump on the next on coming bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded on to the wrong bus! So you wasted your time and money waiting for what you want!!! Even if an aircon bus came, can you ensure that the aircon bus wont break down or will the aircon be too cold for you?? So people want to make sure that what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn’t hurt to give other people a chance, right? If you found that the “BUS” doesn’t suit, you just press the red button and get off the bus! But WAIT… I am sure all of you have this experienced before. You saw a bus is coming  (the bus you want of course) you flagged it and the driver acted blur by pretending not seeing you and zoomed pass you! Haha….The bottom line of being loved is like waiting for a bus and whether you want to get on the bus and give the bus chance depends totally on you and walking alone is just like being out of love…if you love someone set him free, if he comes back to you, you know hez your, if they don’t then it was never meant to be….am I rite??? But anyway, I still enjoy my single life. . . its much more freedom, no pain, no hurt. . . or maybe it just because of my passed relationships so I rather being single…

Stay Happy, Stay Cool, Stay you. . . . (@.^) FRANNIE!!! (@.^)

I am ignorant, easily angered and even the slightest mistake that you made can be intensified in my converging torld. You can say/do the same thing twice, but i wont react to it both the same way.i am self-absorbed, and a bit too self-centred. i always (occasional cpmpromise? never) have myself at the top of my priorities, and i dont love you for who you are. i love you for what you might become for me.So…do you love me, for what, and who i really am??????

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Tomorrow will be last day francis in SKL. Actually quite sad, he will going back Canada on end of this month. Really miss the day we spent together in office no matter what happenned he will try to solve the problem for me. i think i will miss him when hez not arround and wanna cry also but my tear not co-operate with me at all hehe. . .and of course wish you all the best in Canada. . . T.T

Argh…, hard it is to say this, but i really really really do miss you!! haizz we are now being seperated in different countries, and seeing different people everyday, eating the different food…i really miss the days though it sucks damn lot!! i miss the way you fight with me, i miss the way we fight like " cat and dogs" you know what i mean…and i raelly miss bullying you…this is getting to no where…you watch out lah…maybe i will going 2 US and hehe…better be prepared hor…send my regard to your daddy…