mY SeCreT CoNFesSiOnS. . .

I don’t understand people sometimes, why must everything be in order? Im not saying that I’d like mine to get tangled up, but a little bit of flaw doesn’t drive you out from the lane, everybody has their moment, so don’t ask if I’m not giving you what you want!!

Ya!! I used to be closed to you, I never really did know how to tell you how much I care. Occasional slips are unavoidable, but close flickering moments are so rare, that I don’t even recall you, being enclosed in your own realm, notice it at all. Fights, tears, hugs, no pretence…I remember trying hard, giving myself hard time for not telling you how much I care. Every time I reel dejected, every time I feel like a million sad thing have just landed on me…every time you take over and steer me back to the right direction…every time I found myself in silence, hard to say it out…I tried…but every time I hope for an outburst instead of suppressing it downward, into somewhere dark inside and invisible, something bad ensued. Its okay of you don’t remember, all you have to remember is no matter what it takes, how it turn out…there will be always someone out there reaching for you. And im just glad that someone happens to me….  I know how it feel when something you did/do is not of somebody’s approval, the desperate need to make it looks right and the anticipation to see the smiles you hope for mean so much to you but somehow, no matter how important you think it is to you, the latter always fail to notice that. So much for a pleasant surprise! I hate to be the one stir up the feeling, I didn’t know what to say, what to do and what to give you back, how’s we possible be able to break the mould when some part of us are engraved somewhere in it? But, that doesn’t mean I don’t care………..

Ya..so fast friday already… oh..time to take a break , just wanna drop down something before I continue my work.. Hm…ok Tuesday went out dinner with jenn…after that we went to get online…guess what?? The guy there don’t know how to set up the wireless connection for me, oh!! My goodness…I can detect the wireless but cant get online because my default connection is a dial up…that’s stupid guy thought it was the hardware problem so he install another driver for me..shit in the end..i fix the thing on my own haiz…well no more crap for this fella. Recently my mood swing like roller coaster and I was wondering why…aiks….we got not satisfaction in our life, when something got in our hand and need more. I worked hard, got dough, spent at what I seem to get that exit. But when I got all things, that are not what I wanna so what it truth in that life time? What I gonna do before reaching my destination to death. All are suck, sick and tired of all the things…..but sometime It take just less than a second to change tour life, when the time has finally decided to come. Your monotone world is now colorized, a man with a magical wand stands two steps behind you. He is your giant, he can and will give you everything, everything that you want, he will make sure every unheard wish that you made come true, and even the little wish that you used to have, yet was discarded because the world is too busy giving you cold shoulders. Time finally plays its role well, perhaps time itself has learnt to give, and not to confiscate the merest hint that is left for you to unpuzzle everything. I’m sorry for what I’ve done wrong, of all the words I said, magnified to every intention that I ever wanted to show, of all the wrongs I did, just to make me happier self. I wish I can take it back, of what you’ve done for me……

And now I should continue my work….

To Be Continue. . .

It been two weeks dint update my blog…haha…one lame excuse “BUSY” haha…

Alright I’m now super duper free…My 21 birthday just passed. And I’m here to thanks everyone who celebrated birthday for me….thanks for the delicious cake and lovely gifts. Really appreciate it… I’m so happy that ice still remember what I told her last two year ago…haha…maybe last time I was too childish to say that…now for me I’ll only appreciate whatever I have and wont expect so much rubbish anymore…my 21 birthday was great…everything was too perfect except…..D.E.S……always busy with his job. Haiz…Jeff said I getting old hahaha….my life just started only ok JEFF!! Last week is considered bombastic for me…I guess… :p 1)Went shopping and celebrate my birthday with my sista gang at bugis ~cant get to buy anything then we had our dinner at thai restaurant…wow!! Full like hell, then is time for clubbing hehe….we went to MOS. Never been there before this my 1^st time hehe….not bad…will be there again :p …then we met jean at devils but just for awhile only, and then desmond sent me home….2) Went to shirly’s house to celebrate my birthday!! Her house is so cosy..i like the environment there…but too bad..its kinda far from my house :p 20% of the people in the party I do not know but everyone was drunk hahaha that’s good…3) Went for dinner with May, Jazz, Shirly & Jayson at orchard swensen. My birthday dinner with them…we chit chat a lot there….so warm to hang out with my dear fren.4) My birthday celebration again..hehe…we went to have buffer dinner. Had a very nice chat, bad teasing on each other at the beginning of the dinner, while waiting for other late comers.Teasing, Chatting , Joking, Crazieee all the way…till an unlucky incident happen..it was a very silly bad incident..everyone was upset…as the cake that Nicole had made had been eaten by other customers. The waitress of the restaurant had mistaken the wrong birthday cake to other customers. Nicola was so upset about it as she was making that cake for whole day…everyone was nervous, kept thinking the way to cheer up Nicole. The manager of the restaurant felt apologized (of course) and all of us got refund from her…anyway Nicole thanks for your cake hehehe….5) Me, Jen & kylie went for our dinner at AMK, the food is so-so…but there were a lot of people out there…I guess that day many people is having birthday…in that 2hrs dinner, 5-6 times birthday song was played to celebrate different customers birthdays…included me hahaha… “its better not to celebrate your friend’s birthday there..!!”

Ohh…kinda tiring….but im enjoying…….